Other Than That, Mrs. Lincoln
Laura Finney
8/14/2026
If you asked me last September, as I rigorously worked to delete mammal from every aspect of my life, panicking over body lotions and “natural flavors,” if there were any positives to having alpha-gal, I would have thought you insane and slightly rude to even suggest it. If you have been reading along from the beginning, you would know that it has been a life-altering journey with more pitfalls than an Indiana Jones movie. So no, when I consider life with Alpha-Gal, I don’t stare off into the sunset pondering my great good fortune.
That said, after almost a year, I have to grudgingly admit that there might actually be a few positives. A very few. In an “other than that, how was the theater Mrs. Lincoln?” sort of way.
It would be far easier to sit here and list the top one thousand ways that Alpha-Gal is a pain in the a$$ - for some both literally and figuratively. I could do that before the sun came up. Finding the bright side, however, takes some fairly aggressive digging.
Challenge accepted.
As I’ve stated multiple times, my pre-AGS diet was … troubling. Less a well-balanced health choice and more of a meat and dairy free-for-all with a side of deep fried delight. It made me deliriously happy while also regularly putting me into a post-lunch coma from which I would emerge in the late afternoon feeling like I’d been hit by a bus. I blamed the bread/gluten as it has been fashioned into the villain of our day.
It wasn’t until late fall, when the Alpha-Gal symptoms started to subside in the absence of the allergen, that I realized…I felt good. If I’m being totally honest, I felt great. Whether lunch was a turkey bacon BLT or a chicken burger on a pretzel roll, I could roll straight through the afternoon firing on all cylinders with nary a glance at my formerly favorite napping spot. So much for my gluten theory. I felt lighter, not just because I had unnecessarily dropped even more weight. I simply felt better. Undeniably, annoyingly better.
As I’ve alluded to in previous posts, there was no universe where I was going to do the “right” thing and start eating like an actual grown woman. And aside from the glaringly obvious argument about free will, having this diet foisted upon me isn’t the absolute worst thing in the world. I know, even as I typed that I expected to suddenly find a mob of angry alpha-galleons with pitchforks and poultry at my door demanding a retraction. Because, let’s be clear – NO ONE WANTS ALPHA-GAL! It is not fun or easy or even safe. I’m just trying to find some glimmers of hope. So my first silver lining – (to be read in a whisper) I feel good. Don’t tell anyone.
Except for a couple of heavier years in my early 50s, thanks hormones, and let’s be honest, wine, I’ve never particularly worried about my weight. Having said that, I, like most women I know, had a little voice inside keeping score. Should I have the fries? Is this worth the calories? Do I really need fried chicken at 7am? The voice was rarely loud enough to sway me but was nonetheless there … like someone running a leaf blower three houses away. Just enough to be vaguely annoying but not life-altering.
These days that voice has gone strangely silent. Within the confines of what I can eat – and admittedly that can is carrying a lot of weight in that sentence – I pretty much eat whatever I want in whatever quantity I want. The voice doesn’t jump in to question or judge. Apparently, it’s quite content to sit back and watch me consume my weight in turkey sandwiches and rice bowls. I no longer weigh the enjoyment of something against how it will be reflected on the scale or whether it will leave me needing a three hour nap.
Food has lost its consequences. Well, some consequences. I mean, one wrong food item could theoretically kill me (which feels like an important footnote) but gone is the ever questioning, should I really eat that? I never realized just how loud that judge inside could be until she was gone. Second Silver Lining: Judgment free dining.
Which oddly enough brings me to the fact that AGS has turned me into an international chef. Okay, sort of. I learned to cook by watching my mother. She is a wonderful cook and taught me a lot about how to put forth a delicious dinner everyone can enjoy. Her cooking leaned heavily toward American with a soupçon of British (shepherd’s pie, roast beef with Yorkshire pudding, Eton Mess.) It was what I knew how to make – until Alpha-Gal.
You see, it never occurred to my mother to prepare something devoid of butter. I might as well ask her to make dinner using only her pinky toe. So, when it came to creating meals in this brave new world, there was a learning curve. That is, until I discovered the rest of the planet.
Asia comes to mind as much of Asian cuisine uses little or no dairy. Although initially overwhelmed by recipes calling for things with names like hoisin, garam masala or tamari, I must admit that I’ve enjoyed my foray into this new umami territory. I’ve mastered an Indian Butter Chicken—sans butter, of course. I still haven’t figured out what to call it. While dropping the butter part is a statement of fact, just ‘Chicken’ seems vague and unappealing. Anywho…
Mediterranean cuisine has been another revelation - heavy on the olive oil and garlic and leaning away from the butter and red meat. My go-tos are often pastas in a sea of olives and tomatoes and happiness. And it turns out that non-dairy garlic bread is everyone’s favorite dinner guest. There is an entire planet of options that don’t require red meat or dairy and I have only started this journey. Third Silver Lining : There is life beyond butter.
And finally, the solidarity. I used to love going out for meals, at restaurants, at friends’ houses - let us break bread together, yada yada. So initially, it was very isolating and kind of sad to sit home alone or with my husband, eating our chicken and contemplating how the next years would look, dining in. Nothing but an endless parade of fins and feathers, while our friends were out living fast and furious with meals I would no longer even dream of eating.
But then, something interesting happened. My family and friends joined in. They started asking how to make dinner work for me. They sent pictures from the grocery store with Can you eat this? They asked about cross contamination and grilled me about taboo ingredients. They’d flood my phone with recipe ideas for our next get together. There is something deeply touching about people making your ridiculous problem their ridiculous problem. That might be one of the loveliest things that Alpha-Gal has shown me. People will go to extraordinary lengths to keep you at their table. Fourth Silver Lining: Crowded tables.
Don’t get me wrong – if a miracle cure came along tomorrow I would snap it up and never look back. I wouldn’t go back to the meat and dairy but I would gladly once again embrace the ease of pre-AG life.
Alpha-Gal has made me healthier, expanded my palate, quieted the food police and reminded me how extraordinarily kind people can be. Yes, there have been silver linings! So am I grateful to that tick for all of my wonderful life lessons?
Have you lost your freaking mind?