Poli-Ticks
Laura Finney
10/2/2026
Ask and you shall receive!
Did I not suggest we wage war on the ticks just two weeks ago? And here we are, at war! Never did I think I’d be this excited for battle.
Before anyone comes at me from either side of the political aisle, this is a non-partisan post. I don’t care if you’re red, blue or purple – I’m a single issue voter and that issue has eight legs and stole my pizza.
So here we are, fall still in its infancy, and already we have bills moving through congress, an executive order signed and ticks scrambling to hire a lobbyist.
Lest you think I’m kidding – or trying to be even vaguely political – here’s the situation. Republican Susan Collins and Democrat Tina Smith led the tick legislation President Trump just signed. Republican Jeff Van Drew and Democrat Don Davis are leading the House push for alpha-gal labeling, and Democrat Mark Warner has introduced the Senate version.
My heart is full. Why? Let me take you back to the movie Independence Day. I know, you all just furrowed your brows but bear with me.
Aliens are attacking the Earth, and humanity must band together to save our planet. Sound familiar? President Whitmore, played by Bill Pullman, delivers a stirring speech about setting aside our differences in the face of a common enemy. And yes, this speech makes me tear up … there, I said it.
Admittedly, our enemy is smaller. But I am still moved to see those from either side of the aisle joining together to fight this bloodsucking menace. Republicans. Democrats. Those claiming to not be at all political but spend all of Thanksgiving dinner proving otherwise. We have a common enemy, and it is lurking in the shrubbery.
So perhaps we can set our differences aside and band together to fight for our right to walk across the lawn without having our immune systems reprogrammed by something the size of this period.
And while no one has asked me to fly a fighter jet – probably wise given my driving – there is an actual battle plan taking shape. It involves legislation, executive orders and research funding. Admittedly, less exciting than blowing up a spaceship but infinitely more useful when the enemy is in your socks.
Here’s what’s been signed, what’s being proposed and what it could mean for those of us whose flank steaks are missing in action. Please keep in mind, having me explain anything political is like asking a wombat to translate the Odyssey from its original Greek, while juggling chainsaws. It’s almost definitely not going to end well.
So here we go.
First, here’s what’s become a law. The Kay Hagan Tick Reauthorization Act. I feel like this one needs a better name. “Tick Reauthorization” makes it sound like we’re authorizing the ticks to carry on. We are not. I looked it up. This Act extends federal programs combating tick borne diseases through 2030. This includes tracking diseases, supporting research and helping state health departments respond with something more than “what are you talking about?”
Basically, congress has renewed the lease on our tick fighting infrastructure. I’d prefer a blitz attack but every step counts.
Second, the President signed an executive order directing federal agencies to explore alpha-gal labeling for food and medications, investigate potential treatments, and get to work reducing tick populations. And he gave them deadlines to achieve each. Actual dates! Not the usual, we’ll assign a task force which seems to be political talk for ‘this will never happen and we’re not even going to pretend it will.’
As someone who is ridiculously task oriented, this gives my heart a little flutter. Tell me they have an actual to-do list and I might need to sit down. Just the idea that somewhere out there, someone is pouring over their “Alpha-Gal food labeling” checklist makes me want to lean over their shoulder and ask how it’s going.
Third, Senator Mark Warner, a Democrat from Virginia, has introduced the Alpha-Gal Allergen Inclusion Act. This one makes me tear up. It would make Alpha-Gal a major food allergen under federal law requiring disclosure on food packaging.
As an Alphagaelleon, let’s take a moment to consider my life in the supermarket. I have my two food allergy apps. I have my reading glasses. I have my list of secret ingredients that conceal mammal products. I stand in aisles trying to recall which bottled water is processed in bone char or which pasta was enriched with the mammal vitamins.
Now imagine picking up a package and it blatantly tells me whether it does or does not contain my allergen. Right on the package. Where the food lives. No more investigations or calls to manufacturers or taking a picture of a label and expanding the ingredient list because I have yet again lost my reading glasses. Just clarity.
Finally, Senator Warner has also proposed the Stop Ticks Act. Here’s a title I can get behind. This would strengthen coordination and increase support for tick disease research and prevention. I feel like “strengthen” and “increase” are taking us in the right direction.
Meanwhile, nearly $3 million has been awarded to the CDC and NIH to feed woodland creatures. Sort of. It’s for research into ways to disrupt the tick life cycle through deer feed and rodent bait systems. Yes, we’re going after their catering. Having lost half of my own menu, this is particularly satisfying.
So, there we have it. Most of this was probably poorly paraphrased and I strongly encourage fact-checking. Remember, you’ve entrusted the Odyssey translation to a wombat.
This wasn’t meant to be a dissertation on poli-ticks. I’m just so excited to feel heard. After all this time, the conversation finally feels something like ...
Me: We must declare war on ticks!
Government: Damn Skippy!
Perhaps this isn’t the rousing Whitmore speech before we jump into our fighter jets. But somewhere out there someone is scheduling a meeting and someone else is fashioning tick resistant deer feed and I’m not super clear what the CDC and NIH do but I’m sure they’re doing important tick stuff.
And although we can’t declare our Independence Day quite yet, we are finally achieving what Hollywood achieved in 1 hour and 47 minutes: agreeing that the thing trying to kill us deserves more attention than our differences.
So I want to thank all of those mentioned above who were willing to jump into this battle. I’m not suggesting that they all read my recent blog, An Inconvenient Tick, realized the imminent threat, and immediately mobilized the federal government. I’m simply suggesting that the timing is curious.
And you’re welcome.